Riddles, Jokes, Puzzles

One of my life goals is to come up with a joke and years later hear that joke told back to me by a stranger. I’m counting on you, reader.

For the riddles, if you want my answer, just let me know

In these three, a common element doth hide: the Last Supper, fresh data, and a conversation set aside

Of these three, a common bond doth join: a snowman, an emoticon, and a Sacajawea coin

I’m slow when I’m fat and quick when I’m thin. I serve you by dying, but no need for crying. Just keep me away from the wind.

[I altered this one; not totally original]

My letters, they number between five and three.

I’m there there in the sky. The ocean and sea, they are me.

I’m there when you’re sad; you feel me when you frown.

Don’t mix me with my neighbors; you’ll just end up with brown.

[I altered this one; not totally original]

Melons

Three melons are in a grocery aisle. The watermelon in the middle says, “I’ve had enough of the single life. Dates are making me melancholy. Either of you want to skip the fuss and go get married right now?”  The melon on the left replies, “I can’t aloupe”. The watermelon turns to the one on the right, which says “Honey, I dew.”